Honoring My Tribe

My women friends are my lifeline.

Female relationships can be tricky and complicated and frustrating. We often find ourselves competing with each other and comparing ourselves to one another which makes it impossible to build any kind of real authenticity in the relationship. There is nothing that discourages me more than a relationship void of authenticity. I want to be me and I want you to be you.

I think it’s safe to say that it takes time and patience to find your tribe. When we become wives and mothers we go through so many changes, personally. We are trying to figure out who we are in the midst of trying to take good care of our families. It’s easy for us to lose sight of who we are and become wrapped up in being the soccer mom or the PTA mom…or the mom who avoids all that (raises hand). But it’s through these years that we kind of “experiment” with our women friendships and we figure out what works for us and what type of women belong in our inner circle.

As we grow into our adult roles and become more confident in who we are, it becomes so much easier to find other women that we can deeply connect with. And, it is so important. Deeply connecting with female friends who see the real you and still love you…that’s a gift. I think the best way I can describe it is a “sisterhood”. The women in my tribe are truly like sisters to me. They don’t let me get away with being less than who I am called to be. They are the ones I call when I’m “in a bad place.” I laugh with them. I cry with them. They are the friends you can just look at and know what’s on their mind and vice versa. It is rare and it is a gift.

When we compete with one another or compare ourselves to one another, we rob ourselves of these connections. When we’re busy comparing and competing we aren’t free to just love and be loved. We have to break down our walls with each other. Once we have established that a relationship is “safe” we have to be willing to be our authentic selves, which, in turn, gives our friends permission to be their authentic selves.

My tribe has seen me through a divorce, the opening of my business, several major traumas, the closing of my business, motherhood celebrations and heartbreak and tears. I can’t imagine doing life without them. I don’t remember how I did life before them.

On this International Women’s Day, I honor the women who have become sisters to me. Who have loved me when I was totally unlovable. Who have laughed with me, cried with me, knocked the sense into me, and made life so full and fun. Thank you for being you and letting me be me.