Your Body is Not Your Identity

I honestly can’t say I remember a time in my life where I was not, to some degree, preoccupied with my body. Sometimes it’s not that big of a deal but I’ve gone through periods where my preoccupation with my physique consumed every aspect of my life. In my quest for the perfect body, I chalked it up to discipline and dedication…things that “common folk” lacked. But not me.

Every meal. Every workout. Every moment of every day was centered around one thing: my body. All of this discipline lead me to believe I was somehow superior to other people who didn’t live the same lifestyle. They just didn’t have what it takes. But I did. I was arrogant. But underneath it all, I was hurt and I was insecure. I thought that once I attained perfection, somehow all of the things that were “wrong” with me would be fixed. They never were and perfection was always just out of my reach…almost, but I could never grasp it.

That was at my worst. Over time, I realized this lifestyle, this obsession with perfection, was only exacerbating the pain I felt and was making me more insecure and lonely. Healing from the body obsession has been challenging to say the least. My body had become my identity, therefore, I felt like if I didn’t look a certain way, my value as a person was decreased. I have fought with knowing the truth - that my body is not my identity - with still feeling like I am “expected” to look a certain way to be valued, credible, trustworthy, fill-in-the-blank.

What I have come to know as truth in my healing journey is that I am not alone. I have yet to meet another women who does not feel this way to some degree or another. I can’t blame society, I can’t blame the media, I can’t even blame Instagram (although Insta is guilty of giving us a platform to compare and feel “less than”). I bought the lies that someone else sold me and it’s my responsibility to release those lies and free myself from their nasty grip.

We just returned from a week’s vacation in the sun, which meant bikini all week. At the end of our trip I compared my last year’s photo to this year’s photo and noticeably had gained weight. In a split second, my mind began to race: “what have I been doing differently?”, “how should I change up my workouts?”, “what should I change in my diet?” I was having a severe internal FREAK OUT.

I know many of you play this same game which is why I feel so compelled to share this part of my journey with you (because trust me, this is not easy for me). We compare ourselves to what we used to be, the version of ourselves that we deem “better.” I know why. Because we have come to believe that our body is our identity. Whether you are underweight, healthy weight or overweight, you likely have a belief system that your body is what defines you. Here’s what I know for sure…IT’S NOT. Your body is NOT your identity.

As I was having my internal freak out, and spending hours driving in the car with sleeping kids, I was hearing from God over and over again…your body is not your identity. You are more valuable than the size of your jeans or the number on the scale (which, by the way, I never step on anymore…because my jeans talk just fine, thank you)

As a coach I feel like I am supposed to come at you with an answer on how to come to terms with the fact that you are MORE than your body. Your body has NOTHING to do with how valuable and loved and important you are as a person. But I don’t have the answer. I just know that we are all in this together. Trying to love ourselves and cut ourselves a little slack. We just want to know that we are enough, no matter what.

It’s a journey. And it’s better for all of us if we can go on this journey together.